Wow... I just read Dane's entry. I owe Karen Grassle a debt of gratitude. I won't go into as much detail but Karen reminds me of a woman I was in love with a long time ago. I’ll call her ‘Sandy’ (not her real name). She was married to a friend of mine so I lied about my true feelings for her even though we became close. I think she knew though because a deep love developed between us. Kindred spirits. As time went on, circumstances caused us to live in different parts of the country and we lost touch.
I subsequently (but not immediately – eight years later in fact) got married and was happily married for 12 years and then I was informed by my wife that she wanted a divorce. I thought life was over. The ex had moved half way across the country. I had lost the one thing that was really important to me. It was then I started watching reruns of Little House on the Prairie. Had a lot of time on my hands at that point. My memories of Sandy returned, jogged by ‘Ma’ in her floor length skirts, long sleeved blouses, pretty face, and long beautiful hair. I started looking for Sandy again in the years since the divorce. I never did find her until one day I was Googling her name and it came up… on an ‘In memoriam’ page at her high school’s web site. I was stunned. Sandy was gone. I pulled out the old photo albums from before my marriage and found the pictures I had of her, reminisced quietly for a while and felt a sense of peace. Seeing Karen as Ma on TV keeps Sandy alive for me. I will always be grateful for that. Someday I’d like to meet Karen and thank her. Until then, I’ll keep watching her on TV and on DVD.
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I'm a 43 year old swimming pool builder in Atlanta. I was married in 2000 and have a 13 year old daughter with my wife. She was not a planned child by any means but turned out to be something really special. The relationship between myself and her mother was not at all a simple thing to master. She had three kids from two previous marriages and a mother and father who sexually abused there kids. My wife has no recollection of abuse to herself but is fully aware that it happened to her sisters. We actually began living together two weeks after we met in 1992 as a result of one of her daughters (six years old at the time) coming to her and stating that "pa" (my wifes father) had touched her inappropriatly. Being the level headed, good natured, decent gentleman that I was, I invited them all to move into my one bedroom apartment. A year later my daughter was born. Now most people would have cut their parents off after an abuse incident like that, but my wife, for some reason, felt she had to continue a relationship with them. Thus, the start of a big part of our problems. Until I started researching literature about incestual families, I really didn't understand. To make a long story short, I never really had a chance to fall in love with my wife. And the more I got to know her the more "mental baggage and twisted metal" I discovered. Going from a single, successful, construction worker, to all of a sudden being responsible, physically and financially for four kids; three of which had deadbeat dads, was not something I'd wish on anyone. It absolutely consumed me. I hesitated to marry her, but with the ever growing moral pressures from my own daughter and my wife's friend's continuous comments such as "when is Dane going to make an honest woman of you" I gave in, and in 2000, I tighed the knot. It was a mistake I later realized because all it ended up doing was adding more stress to an already stressed out relationship. In 2002 I built a pool for a couple that seemed like the most unlikely match that two people could be. The woman (we'll call Roberta) was a bubbly, energetic, vision of health. She worked-out every day, and I mean every single day. She had a smile that would convert a terrorist. Her husband who was about ten years older than her, about 55 I think, was anything but the latter description. He was a nice guy, but no "lust for life" like Roberta had. He was drab, overweight and zero personality. As I got to know them both throughout the construction of thier pool, (her more than him) I learned how such an odd couple could end up together. Roberta had three kids of her own. Raising them with little or no help from the kids two deadbeat fathers. She said she married her current husband because basically she knew she could count on him. Her kids were old enough to be on there own by then, and she just decided that "looks" in a husband weren't everything. They were married about five years when I met them. In her words, she realized she made a mistake when she discovered that there wasn't a whole lot of intimacy to her husband either. Toward the end of the pool building proccess is when Roberta and I really discovered the voids we each had in our lives. We fell in love with each other soon after. I personally had never felt love like that, ever. We were intimate two times in about a six month period. Under the circumstances it was mostly phone calls, emails, occasionally jogging together and embracing each other. I can honestly say that she saved my life. And believe me, I never give credit where credit ain't due. Then came the inevitable moment! My wife had been very suspicious and possesive right from the start of our relationship (something she aquired I guess from to many loser husbands and a scumb-bag father). She found out about Roberta and I by snooping around on my laptop and finding an extremely inimate email that I had sent to Roberta one night. (I had been drinking and forgot to double delete). She immediatly made a copy of the email and brought it to Roberta's husband and basically turned everyones world upside down. She even went so far as to get Roberta fired from one of her jobs. That was three years ago. It was pretty much impossible to communicate with Roberta after that. I just recently divorced my wife and I am a much happier person now. My daughter lives with me most of the time and she to, is very happy, now that there's "peace on earth" as she puts it. I know your probably wondering what all this has to do with Karen Grassle, so here it is. After being found out, Roberta and I were pretty much under a microscope by our spouses. I missed her so much. She was such an inspiration to me in so many ways that I don't even know where to begin. I ached inside for her. One evening I was watching an episode of Little House. There was a seen that had a close up of Ma (Karen Grassle) talking, smiling and laughing. It hit me that she had the same kind of sparkle and radiance in her eyes and her face as did Roberta. I had watched Little House growing up and never really thought anything special about the actors on the show. But after that one seen, I found myself glued to the set at 8 o'clock every weeknight for a re-run episode that would hopefully include Karen Grassle. I even found myself getting a little jealous of Michael Landon. (stupid huh?) I do still talk to Roberta here and there and I know that we still have feelings for each other. She's still with her husband for her own reasons but I know that deep down it's important to her that I still love her. And I tell her 'just that' every so often. I still watch Little House and I still hope for the Karen Grassle episodes. I've even purchased some of the movies that she has starred in. I have a good feeling about Karen. I can clearly see something special about her just by her mear presence on the screen. Even though she's twenty one years older than me, I think she's the most beautiful woman on this planet (next to Roberta of course). I would give anything to actually meet her. To shake her hand and tell her how she made a painful time, a little less difficult. Thanks, Karen babydanesdaddy@aol.com
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